OBAMA (KIND OF) INVITES ME TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT
It’s obvious that Obama hates his job and wants to get his ass handed to him by Mitt Romney in 2012. Only a politician who wanted to lose his next election would shoot himself in the foot as many times as he has. Let’s go over just how badly this man wants to get out of his current gig as commander-in-chief of the dying empire:
- First, he takes office with a shitload of momentum behind him, and uses it to push through his bizarre healthcare plan which is going to take our tax dollars and hand them over to health insurance companies.
- Next, instead of closing Guantanamo (as promised during the campaign), he rolls over to the Republicans and keeps it open.
- Also, instead of pulling out of Iraq and Afghanistan (never promised, but hoped for by the majority of his supporters), he simply moved 50,000 troops from Iraq to Afghanistan. I wonder how many soldiers regrettably thought to themselves “It can’t possibly get any worse than this” while patrolling the dusty streets of Baghdad only to find themselves picking up dismembered body parts on the streets of Kabul three months later?
- Oh yeah, and then he actually sent us into a third war in Libya. America, fuck yeah.
Other items on his list of monumental failures include: rolling back EPA regulations, extending the Bush tax cuts for the rich in some insane horse trading with the right-wing fascists in Congress, imprisoning people who leak documents showing all the nasty shit our government has been up to, and just outright killing other American citizens without a trial.
So what’s latest on this list? Perhaps you’ve heard, but the Federales just announced that they aim to take down medical marijuana in the Golden State. Perhaps Obama thinks that nothing will give the U.S. economy the shot in the arm it needs more than shutting down hundreds of legitimate businesses throughout the state that employ tens of thousands of people. Or, more likely, his goal is to piss off yet another group of his supporters, thus assuring his self-destruction in the 2012 election.
The question remains: what the hell happened to this guy? He was so cool. Bring him back and get rid of the zombie who wastes our money on the Wars on Terror and Drugs.
Of course, I suppose the silver lining in Obama’s latest move is that it gives a much-needed boost to my fledgling campaign for the presidency. After all, shutting down the dispensaries in California will disillusion hundreds of thousands of Obama supporters and drive them into the tender embrace of the Ed Rosenthal for President campaign. This may come across as crass opportunism, but I pledge right here and right now to allow the dispensaries in California to stay open. I’ll go one step further (I know this is going to be a huge shock to you all, and, by the way, kudos to you for making it this far into the blog post!) and vow that as president I will END MARIJUANA PROHIBITION!
So, thank you, Mr. President, for coming to my assistance and providing me with yet another reason to run for the presidency of this great nation. Your unwillingness to act rationally and in a sane manner may end up forcing me to run in the upcoming election.
KEEP AMERICA GROWING! ED ROSENTHAL 2012!